George and the Blue Phone.

Scene: Whitehouse bedroom of George and Laura Bush. It is 2:00 a.m. and the Blue Phone rings.

Laura: Who is it?
George: It’s the blue phone.
Laura: Oh my God!
George: Yes.

George: Hey big guy…ya kinda woke me up.

God: How often do I call George?

George: right sir.

Laura: Tell him I said howdy.

George: Laura says…

God: {interrupting} Listen George, I’d love to chit-chat but I’ve got people yapping at me from all over the place—and this middle east thing—Oi, gevald!

George: I hear ya big guy…ya know just the other day…

God: George! Did you hear me say people are yapping at me. Listen up. I’ve decided to take time out for a little R&R-- comprende?

George: not really sir…

God: I’m tired George…I need a tan. I was going to put the pope in charge but he went and opened his big mouth about the Muslims and now I’m all distracted. I can’t concentrate on prayers, I can’t keep track of who's coming and who's going…

George: Gee sir…

God: That brings me back to why I called George. It’s come to my attention that the majority of the free world hates you.

George: hates a pretty strong word, don’t you think sir?

God: They hate you George. They swim in their hate…they eat it for breakfast and teach it to their children…which is exactly why I want you to take over while I’m gone.

George: I appreciate your forthright nature big guy…and I’m honored that you thought of me…but, seriously, I really have a lot on my plate right now.

God: I’m sorry that I gave you the impression that you have a choice in the matter George. The long and short of it is they blame you for everything anyway. It’s a good time for me to slip out.

George: You think so too? I thought I was just getting paranoid…

God: Let’s see George…the conflict in the middle east, gas prices, layoffs, Katrina…is it true you blew up the levees George?

George: Um…no sir… levee money was used for something else way before I got here…

God: sure George… although it does seem odd that that Nagin fellow slid under the radar of the publics wrath…but who needs Nagin when they have you?! I tell you George, they absolutely hate you! {chuckling} you know what they say…bad publicity is better than no publicity at all…

George: Thank you sir…I’ll keep that in mind.

God: So, where was I…oh yes…layoffs…

George: Actually, sir, the economy is in good shape…the stock market is about to set a record high…

God: yadda, yadda yadda George. What about 9/11? That was quite a pretty piece of publicity work—putting the blame on those poor Muslims—what is that funny name you made up?

George: Al Quaida, sir?

God: Al Quaida…Al Quaida... Why would you blow up all of those innocent people George?

George: I didn’t… blow…up…any…people! No offense sir, but, aren’t you supposed to be omniscient or something?

God: Yeah, yeah but with all of the commotion—Brad and Anjolina, that racial thing on Survivor and that lame-brained pope… I’ve gotten a little lazy and just started flipping on CNN.

George: So I take it you’ve been following Iraq?

God: Now there’s a hot potato isn’t it George?

George: a real doozy sir…ya know you aren’t making me feel better here big guy…

God: that’s the point dubbya…it ain’t going to get any better. It doesn’t matter what I do… hurricanes, pestilance, global warming--it’s all your fault George and to be honest--I’m all over that. I just don’t need the aggravation anymore. I’ve been around a really long time.

George: So when will you be leaving?

God: Well, I’ve got a huge pile of prayer requests—luckily that “Path to 9-11” show on ABC is over…I can get all those Clinton people off my back. Let’s see, I’ve got a father-son golf tournament with Jesus on Wednesday—and a couple of hurricanes swirling around out there in the Atlantic—but you can handle that…can’t ya boy?

George: Yes sir…feel free to pile it on.

God: You know George, when I nudged things in your direction after the last two elections…I had no idea just how well it would work out.

George: Yes, sir…don’t let me forget to thank you for that.

The root of our own destruction...

On April 19, 1775, British troops killed 8 colonists and wounded 10 others in the battle of Lexington. The British continued on toward Concord and after a skirmish with about 150 Minutemen, they headed toward Boston. Following the battle of Concord, Patriot Minuteman raced ahead of the British army and hid behind trees, rocks, houses, barns and alongside roads. The British army made an easy target for patriot snipers as they marched in traditional formation wearing bright red uniforms.

The British were unwilling to adapt to this new kind of warfare because it was ‘ungentlemanly’ and as a result, the most well trained army in the world was defeated by a poorly financed, poorly trained, and poorly equipped group of farmers and tradesmen.

America has now fallen into a similar trap. We have underestimated the ferocity of our enemy and the depth of their hatred. We are marching in the formation of political correctness while our enemy is most-assuredly plotting something beyond even our 9-11 comprehension. Certainly, they will not go backward to a time when a simple bomb or hijacking would get their message across.

You can’t fight fair when you are fighting someone without limits or conscience. You can’t march in formation wearing bright red uniforms and not expect to be decimated. It is a new kind of enemy and we must wage a new kind of war. You can have policies hindered by political correctness or you can have policies that catch terrorists. You cannot have both.

On the eve of the fifth anniversary of 9-11, Osama bin Laden’s deputy Ayman al-Zawahiri issued a lengthy video statement calling on Muslims to step up their resistance to the United States and warning that "new events" are on the way. "Your leaders are hiding from you the true extent of the disaster," al-Zawahiri said in the video, which appeared on Islamist Web sites on Sunday. "And the days are pregnant and giving birth to new events, with Allah's permission and guidance."

Our enemy is united in their hatred of us but we are unfocused-- divided by our hatred of each other. It doesn’t matter whether you love Bush or hate him—expending all of this energy against a lame duck president is ludicrous. Al Quaida--who killed nearly 3,000 of our countrymen in cold blood, is still out there…planning and plotting and what are we doing—coming up with tricky bumper stickers in an effort to point the finger. No wonder they hate us—we are a nation of fighting, whining children with little resolve and even less backbone.

Terrorists have been quoted as saying that failure to act when The U.S.S. Cole was attacked emboldened them in the 9-11 attacks. You may hate George Bush and you may hate this war, but, he acted--and with the support of congress and the American people. If it makes you feel better to say that George Bush is evil...then go ahead...but, you know it isn't true. What is true and rarely publicized is that 5,000 terrorists have been captured around the world since 9-11. Perhaps one of those 5,000 terrorists was heading in your direction—picture it for a minute...your city, your subway car, the drinking fountain at your child’s school.

Jesus said, “Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation; and every city or house divided against itself shall not stand”. There are those whose biggest hope is that Bush will fail; but, if Bush fails, America fails…we all fail and we all fall. We have a common enemy; they are well-financed, well-trained and well-equipped. It is too big a fight to stand as republicans and democrats but it is not--nor will it ever be-- bigger than a united America.

America will not fall to terrorists unless we allow it to happen by virtue of division and complacency. In that case, we don’t need Al Quaida, we will be our own worst enemy. America came into being because the greatest army in the world could not imagine being out maneuvered by a group of undisciplined guerrillas hiding behind trees. How ironic if that kind of thinking was the root of our own destruction.